Identity Beyond Labels & Advocacy: A Journaling Guide
Reclaiming the version of you that exists outside of roles, rules, and expectations. (Includes a journal prompt.)
In my work as a writer and a journal therapist, I spend a great deal of time thinking about labels.
We use them to categorise our world, to make sense of chaos, and to find the right shelf for our experiences.
But sometimes, the labels we carry begin to feel less like a filing system and more like a weight. Whether that weight comes from a clinical diagnosis, a career title, or the roles we never asked for, the feeling is the same
To the SEND parents reading this: I see you. I see the invisible curriculum you study every day. I see the folder of evidence you carry to every meeting, the vigilance required to navigate systemic barriers, and the way you must constantly translate your child’s soul into the clinical language of provisions and outcomes. In the world of SEND parenting, you are often forced to become an advocate before you are allowed to be a person.
But this weight is not exclusive to one journey. Many of you reading this are carrying your own heavy folders. Perhaps you are navigating a health transition, managing the quiet exhaustion of professional burnout, or acting as a carer for an ageing parent. You might be the person who holds everything together for everyone else, while your own needs remain unaddressed.
Whether your label is Advocate, Carer, Patient, or Provider, the result is often the same: we become so busy managing the case of our lives that we lose sight of the human being at the centre of it.
In Narrative Therapy, there is a fundamental belief that the person is not the problem; the problem is the problem.
When we step away from the labels and the “shoulds”, we find a quiet space where we are allowed to simply exist. My journal has always been that space for me. It is the one place where I do not have to be Proper, or Productive, or Resilient. It is the place where I can just be me. Nicki. No other labels required.
A Prompt for the Quiet Moments
Regardless of which labels you are carrying right now, I invite you to take five minutes for yourself.
Identify one label that has felt particularly heavy this week. Write it at the top of a page. Beneath it, list three things about yourself that have nothing to do with that label.
Maybe you are a gardener. Maybe you are someone who makes excellent toast. Maybe you are a person who still remembers the lyrics to a song from 1984.
Remind yourself that you are more than the advocacy, more than the work, and more than the weight you carry. You are the author of the story, not just a character in the struggle.
Don't let the reflection end here.
I encourage you to take five minutes today, with a "Proper" cup of tea and a blank page, to write one thing about yourself that has nothing to do with your roles or responsibilities. If you’d like more structured support for this practice, you can find The Journal Therapy Clarity Guide in the Digital Library.
Also posted on my Substack - Simply Nutmeg.
